Lord Berkelouw

Lord Berkelouw was an owl most foul
you should hear his oaths when gushing
when in full flight
it makes quite the sight
leaves the roughest sailors blushing

When Lord Berkelouw this owl most foul
fell into any form of trouble
he slipped in words
that scared whey from curds
and made all his trouble double

To be seen at large with Lord Berkelouw
was regarded so very dimly
any lady spied in his company
was talked of rather grimly

It may start quite fine but it would not take long
for him to produce a most distateful speech bubble
from this moment on the damage was done
her reputation reduced to rubble

Now Lord Berkelouw this most foul of owl
had what you might term certain peccadillos
it was oft his wont to write in inflammatory font
letters to wilt the hardiest willows

with a sharp 2B and a cup of tea
he scribed missives to all the press
but i must confess
they'd be in quite the mess
if they were published for all to see

What's strange for those
who knew Lord Berkelouw
when he was but a but a wee lad of an owl
is this -

his mouth would never have melted butter
his thoughts were a long way from the gutter
he was never prone to thunder and mutter
never a rude word was he heard to utter
in fact had quite the nervous stutter

yet now:

he spews words most foul
even for an owl
can be found on the prowl
and wearing a scowl
barks in a growl
or sends out a howl

and why?

You'll have to ask Lord Berkelouw
(I shan't consort with so foul an owl)